I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
two words...techno handjob
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
