i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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