i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
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Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
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Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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