This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
