i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
