i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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