oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize