okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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