bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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