Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
