Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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