tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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