He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
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