he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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