Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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