Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
