If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
