i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
