weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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