Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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