Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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