You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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