rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's blow job season.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
