you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
