For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
