is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It's official drugs can't kill me
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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