there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
