at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
