can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
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Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
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All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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