Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
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We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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