YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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