normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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