i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
