Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
