I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
