plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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