i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
