I think I died a long time ago.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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