I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
