All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
