I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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