What a fucking waste of an outfit
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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