so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We were destined to go to rehab together
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
