My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
