I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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