I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize