Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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