Swine flu. Run for my life!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
