Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
