I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
