love makes seman taste better
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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