Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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