I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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