Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
