Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
