why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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