so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
