I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
