is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
