Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
