Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
