Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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