he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Terrible idea I love it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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