just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
