who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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