He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
