just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
