You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
