wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
