I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Can Purell be used as lube?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
